Wednesday, April 15, 2009

SuperTrump

SuperTrump



I have never been a fan of reality television. I have fussed and complained for the past nine years about how reality TV is ruining television and dumbing the masses. I have bitched to my Wife about watching hours upon hours of America's Next Top Model, American Idol, Road Rules, Big Brother etc, etc..., when she should occupy her time by reading a great novel or watching a killer flick. She tells me that "when she gets home from work she likes to relax and watch mind numbing television to unwind. To each its own. I have now become a sellout, hypocrite. Again, in my old age I find myself eating my own words. IHB=HYPOCRISY. I now would like to say the past three months I have been glued to wonderful thirty and sixty minute train wrecks on the tube.

The first show that really hooked me was Bad Girl's Club. Those outrageous, promiscuous, inebriated sirens are a real treat to watch. In an hour there is more hair pulling and fighting on one episode than a whole season of Jerry Springer. I found myself having sympathy for the bullied "Ambers" (on Cookie's defense, she never did step down from a fight) while the devil in me pulled for the crafty and conniving bitch troupe that is the "Fab Five or Fake Fab". My ears bled and my hate bred for a northern state every time I heard one girl mention "that's how we do it in Boston". My favorite quote from the show was "it's not cheating if you wear a condom". Bad Girls, your parents are so proud. Brilliant, television!

I really enjoyed watching Tool Academy. I'm a real fan of Matsuflex and I stand as a firm believer in the Matsuflex revolution. I find myself trying to perfect Clarence "Celebrity's" booty bounce in the mirror at least twice a week. I felt sorry for Tommy because no one bothered to tell him he wasn't on "Mr Awesome" anymore. I do believe I would lay Sean's ass out if I ever saw him out on the town, BRO. The grandiose, white-trash, Jersey wedding at the end brought artificial tears to my eyes. This show dares you to look at yourself in the mirror and examine your own ego or alter ego. If Harvey Dent / Two Face wasn't so disfigured, I could see him being the poster boy for Tool Academy. These young men are all narcissists with personality disorders. Read this from Wikipedia -

Personality disorders are defined by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) as "an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it". [1] These patterns, as noted, are inflexible and pervasive across many situations, due in large part to the fact that such behavior is ego-syntonic (i.e., the patterns are consistent with the ego integrity of the individual), and therefore, perceived to be appropriate by that individual. The onset of these patterns of behavior can typically be traced back to late adolescence and the beginning of adulthood, and, in rare instances, childhood.[1]

"The patterns are consistent with the ego integrity of the individual". MEGA, Celebrity, Matsuflex, if you're not going into the crime fighting game, you shouldn't give yourself a name. From now on when I fuck up with my wife I'm gonna tell her, baby, it wasn't Ian that did that, it was Tremendous that did that. I ain't gonna be Tremendous no more. That's my word, sweetness. That's my word.


The one television show that has hooked me the most is this season of Celebrity Apprentice. What a hell of a show. That is the shortest two hours of television I have ever watched. Besides the fact that I loved Dennis Rodman and Tom Green when I was younger and I am a BIG fan of Khloe Kardashian's ass, this show is so entertaining. The bickering and egos clashing. Watching the beautiful Ivanka Trump light up the tube with her glowing, ethnic features. Staring at the dead vermin sitting on top of Trump's head and waiting for it to move. I love the mother daughter dynamic that Joan and Melissa Rivers share. Behind all of those tattoos lies a very hard working, extremely talented man by the name of Jesse James. This is by far my favorite reality show.

Tremendous, signing off.

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